


Not Again

by Goldy



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-15
Updated: 2013-07-15
Packaged: 2017-12-20 05:15:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/883351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Goldy/pseuds/Goldy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>“Rose, I accidentally got snogged again.”</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not Again

“Hello!” said Rose over the other end of the line, a smile in her voice.

“Hi,” said the Doctor slowly, expelling a breath. His stomach tightened uncomfortably. He glanced around and then sat down heavily on the nearest park bench. This conversation would definitely go much better sitting down.

There was a long pause, and then Rose said, “Doctor, you still there?”

“Yeah,” he said, blinking against the bright July sunlight. He rubbed his forehead and then blurted, “Rose, I… um… I accidentallygotsnoggedagain.”

There was another pause, and then Rose sounded fainter than before, “What?”

“Snogged,” he repeated. “I got snogged. Again. It was an _accident_ ,” he added. “I swear to you, I—”

“Oh my god,” Rose said, “how does one person get kissed this often? Don’t your lips get tired?”

“What? That’s not—”

“What did you do this time?” Rose said. “Save her cat from a burning building? Help her elderly mother cross the street and then cure her arthritis?”

“Well, the building _was_ on fire and her mother _did_ have arthritis—and, anyway, I didn’t do it to get kissed! What sort of person do you think I am?”

“I know,” Rose said with a sigh. “So. What happened?”

“It was the pigeons.”

There was a disbelieving silence on the other end of the phone. Finally, Rose said, “Pigeons?”

“They went mad—NO! It started with the perfume. Not my perfume, mind you. Cindy’s perfume—”

“—OH! You’re on first name basis now, are you?”

“Rose.”

“All right. Go on.”

“Her perfume contained a vitamin-H9 extract from the plant Verusius from the Nebular system. Pigeons are highly sensitive to the scent. Makes them go mad.”

Rose sighed again. “Let me guess, you promised to rescue her, scared them off with the sonic screwdriver, and then she kissed you?”

“Sort of,” said the Doctor. “I did rescue her, yeah, but then we had to go find out who on Earth had the technology to import Verusius.”

“Of course you did.”

Her tone was frosty, and the Doctor suddenly found himself chilled despite the warm sunlight.

“We looked into her perfume and followed the trail back to the company," he continued. "It wasn’t hard to track down the CEO. Loud, arrogant type. You know the sort. Turns out he didn’t exactly fancy us breaking in and having a look through his security system.”

“There’s a surprise,” said Rose. Then in a gentler tone, she added, “You all right?”

“Yeah,” he said. “You know me. We managed to hack into his computer system, track down his processing factory, and BAM—all taken care of. I doubt he’ll be getting back to the Nebular system any time soon.”

“Great,” Rose said. “Then what?”

“So I told Cindy she was brilliant, thanked her for helping me, and then she—”

“Yeah, yeah, I can fill the rest in.”

He swallowed thickly. “Are you… angry?” There was only silence in reply, and he worried that she might have hung up on him. “Rose?”

“Yeah.”

Her voice was tight and quiet, making him feel about two feet high. There was nothing he hated more than letting Rose down. All that time in the factory he’d been cataloguing every little thing so he could tell Rose later. He wanted her to know how brilliant it was that Cindy managed to hack into the computer system on her own and how the CEO’s men put down their guns after he showed them what was really happening. She should have been there with him. Instead he’d gone and mucked things up.

“Rose, there’s something else.”

“What?”

His face heated up. “I think it’s going to be in the tabloids tomorrow.”

That time he heard the distinctive _click_ of her hanging up on him. Slowly he lowered his own mobile, snapping it shut before sliding it back in his pocket.

He squinted into the sunset, his stomach still feeling tight and uneasy. He _had_ to fix this. Somehow.

*****

The sun was beginning to set when he finally made it home. The door slammed shut behind him and he dropped his keys onto the corner table, making his way through their flat.

“Rose?” he called. She couldn’t still be angry with him, could she? He didn’t _think_ she’d spend the night at the office, but she _had_ hung up on him…

“In here!” her voice called.

He began to relax. She was home. All they had to do was talk about it, and—

“Who the _hell_ do you think you are?!”

He yelped, and came to a sudden stop, almost tripping over his own feet. “What? Jackie? What?”

She marched out of the bedroom, finger pointed threateningly in his direction. Rose hovered quietly behind her.

“You think just ‘cos you’re an alien you can go around kissing everything in your path—”

“No! No, it’s not like that at all! She kissed me! It wasn’t my fault, I—”

“I ought—” she poked him in the chest, “to—” she poked him again, “take you to the government—” she jabbed him again, “and let them do experiments on you!”

His chest was beginning to hurt. He shot Rose a look. “You _told_ her?”

“Yeah, and I _saw_ it with my own two eyes!” Jackie said, pulling out a piece of paper and waving it around in front of his face. He felt the colour drain from his face. It was a picture of him and Cindy in mid-kiss. He had to admit, it did look rather suspicious. “It’s all over the bleeding Internet.”

The Doctor turned a horrified gaze on Rose. She folded her arms over her chest and raised her eyebrows.

He scratched the back of his neck. “Um….”

“How long has this been going on for, then? Is that what you do—go around all day picking up young girls?”

“What? No, Jackie, there were _pigeons_! I didn’t do it on purpose. Rose, tell her!”

Jackie’s pulled her arm back, looking murderous. The Doctor hastily took a step back, banging into the wall. Oh, blimey, she had him trapped. He glanced around, trying to find an escape—maybe if he dived between her legs and ran to the bathroom, he could lock himself in and start working on the window.

“Mum, leave him alone.”

“Oh, I will not! It’s about time someone smacked some sense into him.”

“ _Mum_ ,” Rose repeated. “It wasn’t his fault. It’s like he said, she kissed him.”

Jackie looked down at this picture in her hands. “Dunno. Doesn't look like he's protesting much.”

“Oi!” said the Doctor. He sprung forward and grabbed the paper out of Jackie’s hands, ripping it into little pieces in front of her. “Jackie, it’s the _tabloids_. Of course they’d get me in the middle of a snog—it’s what they _do_. I’d never hurt Rose on purpose. Never. You know that.”

Jackie stared at him, still looking furious. The Doctor clenched his jaw and steeled himself for a slap.

It never came.

“Mum, leave it,” Rose said. She came over and took Jackie by the arm. “It’s like he said, yeah? He didn’t mean it. I trust him.”

The Doctor sent Rose a relieved smile, but she didn’t smile back. Instead, she began to lead Jackie down the hall and towards the exit.

“You can stay with us any time you want, sweetheart. _He’s_ not invited…”

“Mum, it wasn’t his fault. Don’t blame him.”

“Rose, it’s not going to be fun for you—either of you—when this hits the papers tomorrow.”

“We’ve had worse, Mum. Love you.”

“Love you.”

The door shut and the Doctor heard Rose turn the lock. He breathed a sigh of relief when she turned around. “ _That_ was close. I nearly thought she’d take my head off.”

He waited for her to smile. She didn’t.

“Rose, I’m sorry, I am,” he said, beginning to feel desperate. “I’ll stop…” _stop what_? He thought. He wasn’t even sure what he’d _done_. “I could have left it alone,” he said in a rush, “I didn’t have to talk to her or bring her to that place.”

Rose shook her head. “No.”

She headed towards the living room and he followed her, now thoroughly confused. “No?”

She shrugged. “Well, it’s who you are, isn’t it? You make friends with random strangers on the street, take them on adventures with you, and make them feel like the most brilliant person in the whole universe. And it’s not like you’re exactly hard on the eyes.”

He perked up at that, and sent Rose a smirk. She glared at him, and he hurriedly wiped the smirk off his face.

“And I love you. I love everything about you. I don’t want you to change. It’s just…” she sunk down onto the sofa, looking miserable. “I don’t exactly want you kissing strangers, either.”

“She kissed me,” he protested. “Rose, you’re… _you_. You’re the only person I want.”

She managed a small smile. “I know. But it’s like… how would you like it if I went about kissing my Torchwood co-workers all the time?”

His eyes widened. “Are you?”

“No,” she said. “That’s not the point.”

Another thought struck him. “Do you _want_ to kiss them? It’s Charlie from tech, isn’t it? Thinks he knows everything about computers, doesn’t he?”

“I don’t want to kiss _any_ of them!” Rose said. “Look, all I’m saying is, it’s not nice to be on my end, all right?”

“They all have rubbish hair, you know,” he continued. “And… and… most of them can only speak one language. Two at best. HA! Besides, hardly anyone’s older than Pete, which is far too young for you. I mean, honestly, most of them won’t even have a century worth of experience, never mind a millennium worth of it and—”

“ _Doctor_ ,” she said. “I’m not gonna go around kissing my Torchwood co-workers. I don’t do that.”

His mouth slammed shut. He didn’t miss the accusation in that last part. “You’re angry.”

Rose hesitated. “It wasn’t your fault.”

He frowned. She didn’t exactly seem convinced. “Hold on,” he said, hands going into the pockets of his suit jacket. Where had he put it…? His fingers finally brushed against a small box and he yanked it out. “Aha! I got you something. _Well_ , I got you something to give to me.”

She blinked at him, and then stared very hard at the box he was holding out to her. “Is that…?”

“Open it.”

She took the box from him and quickly flicked it open. Inside was a gleaming, silver ring. It was a simple design, but thick and impossible to miss.

“I don’t….” Speechless, she plucked the ring out of the box, turning it around in her fingers a few times. Finally, she said, “You do realize that traditionally we’re supposed to get married and have a wedding before I give you one of these, yeah?”

He sniffed. “Rose, this isn’t a _wedding ring_. It’s better than that. Read the inscription on the inside. Go on.”

She frowned and then held the ring up under the light, eyes moving quickly over the inscription. A slow smile spread across her face. “ _Property of Rose Tyler_ ,” she read aloud.

“Seemed apt.”

“How did you get this done so quickly?”

He shrugged mysteriously. “I know people.” He grinned and wriggled his fingers at her. “Come on, then. Put it on.”

She giggled and then grabbed his hand. She bit her lip as she concentrated and carefully slipped it onto his ring finger. Then she stood back, surveying her work proudly.

“Better?” he said.

“Yeah,” she said. “Should solve the problem. And if it doesn’t… I’ve got rights.” She grinned mischievously and then threw her arms around him, clinging tightly to the back of his neck.

He bent his head and kissed the crick of her neck, wrapping his own arms around her waist. “Rose? I really am sorry.”

“I know. You were just being you. And that’s all right.”

“What about the tabloids?”

“Oh, come on, you’re gonna be walking around with this huge wedding ring—”

“It’s not a wedding ring.”

“It _looks_ like a wedding ring. They’ll have other things to focus on. Just avoid my mum for a few days.”

“You know what we _could_ do—”

“Forget it. We’re not gonna use her as the test subject in the shuttle launch.”

He heaved a sigh. “Just checking.” He thought for a moment. “Rose?”

“What is it?”

“ _You_ should have a ring!” Why hadn’t he thought about this before? “Then we could match!”

She sounded amused. “Like we’re married.”

“No, _not_ like we’re married. It’s better than that. Besides, I don’t like these Torchwood blokes. They sound… shifty.”

“Doctor, for the last time, I don’t want to snog any of them—” she stopped in mid-sentence when he grabbed her hand and began dragging her towards the door. “The shops will be closed by now!”

He spoke over his shoulder. “Oh, Rose Tyler. I know people.”


End file.
